Martini in a box = bad

Never mind the ubiquitous and egregious trademark symbol, this concept is bad.

Martini party in a box? I suppose if it helps people become better hosts then it might have some redeeming merit - but it doesn't completely excuse the paradox.

The Martini is bespoke and temporary. It happens and then things move on. The "in a box" concept is about pre-package and conformity. This isn't going to help you make a better cocktail. It might let you feel more comfortable about hosting a party, but it's nothing you couldn't think up yourself.

Spend you money an a nice set of cocktail glasses instead.

Cocktail Days Revisited

Unfortunately, the writer of this article didn't get the memo that cocktails were an excuse to be pretensious. At least that's what I figured back in 1997. You remember, when wired published their cocktailtime.com website. Yeah, that's when the sweet stuff (schnapps, creme de menthe, blue curaco et al...) was retired and the citrus was the new king.

We'd still go into town and order shakers, and drink ourselves silly, but we knew they weren't cocktails - they were shots.

But some people can't let go of the creamy drinks...

Borbatini - An New Ageless Classic Cocktail

Anyone who has read a moose industry cocktail piece will no doubt be aware of my distain for all things trendy when it comes to beverages. If everyone is doing, it's well and truely past it. Chances are it just appeared in James Bond movie or on TV. So here's something I'm predicting as the next big thing in trendy cocktails. I expect to see it in the NY Times (where I got the idea, in fact) and later maybe featured on Desperate Housewives or maybe in a Sex in the City reunion. I call it:

The Borbatini

Head to your cosmetics counter and pick up some of this fancy water. It's called Borba and it's suppose to keep you looking young and beautiful.
Next grab some quality vodka (think Grey Goose or Belvedere). This is going to be a premium drink so we don't want any extra nasty tastes getting in the way. I seriously thought gin might be a good option but then I remember my target market.
Next comes the ever important vermouth - let's say we'll be making this dry so maybe just tiny hint.

Step 1: Make ice cubes out of Borba Clarify tonic
Step 2: Add Borba ice cube to shaker
Step 3: Add 2.5 oz of vodka + 1/2 oz of Borba + 1/8 oz of vermouth
Step 4: Shake vigourously and strain into a frosted cocktail class.
Step 5: Pour unused ice cubes into a highball, top with Borba and serve with the cocktail. For proper Nutraceutical effect it is important that this chaser follows the main cocktail.

There's no reason why you can't use other Borba tonics. Good luck with the pretty people.

quite

Suppose someone had to say it.

Fresh herbs for cocktails

Beloved Google News dug up this article about using herbs in cocktails. I have to admit that I'm a little curious. There comes a point when cocktail seems to equal citrus (think sour and all our wet friends in New Orleans). Of course, you could just drink more gin (think Bombay Saphire) and bitters (of all kinds).

Well as long as it isn't revenge of the creamy drinks then it's a step in the right direction.

Life, Leisure and the Perfect Garnish

In general, I've got to agree with what they have to say about garnishes. Here at moose industries there's sometimes a nagging feeling that we are skimping on the garnish side of things. Some drinks _need_ a garnish. The martini olive is not optional and neither is margarita salt. Others, well that's where it gets tricky. Take, for instance the daquiri. Let's be honest, the lime wedge doesn't offer much in terms of added taste and well things are pretty green to start with so it's not exactly the contrast that's required. Of course a lemon twist would look all wrong.

And here's a thought... are strays part of the garnish, part of the glassware or essential? I vote for the first. They look nice but are not functionally necessary.

Cocktails Are All the Rage Regardless of Gender?

I should know better than to be tempted by PR generating "surveys" for liquor companies. In this case cocktails are apparently all the rage regardless of gender.

Sadly, it's from Jim Beam and it seems to be very middle america. Fuzzy Navels and screwdrivers are cocktails? People like fruit in their drinks. C'mon, it's the 70s all over again. The revenge of creamy drinks will be upon us before we know it and know doubt it will be server in a plastic cup, luke warm and lacking and style. After all it's all about the taste right? Pour it out of the can - it's more convient than find fresh fruit, carefully measuring, fussing with garnishes and serving in a nice cocktail glass.

Oh well - suppose it's better than budweiser.

boards of wanaka

mb1 and I have been working on improving the Board of Wanaka website. Here's our latest efforts. Random images and random taglines are cool. Some stylesheets hacks have been fun too. There's a whole heap of other activities planned, but a few more readers wouldn't hurt either.

now back to studying what makes google ads tick.

The Wonders of Free Blogware

I'm always scared when my little test sites get found by google. It's the lag that kills me. Start of publishing knowing that nobody knows it's there. Then you think: "how does this stack up with google." And so you try to get listed. And then you forget what you wrote, not that it was very important mind you. Finally the dribble gets listed and you think: "my god, I am a pratt".

Having said that, you can't really complain about how good some of this free blog software is. Been trying to set up Wordpress... they say it's easy, but I've had nothing but issues with mod_rewrite.

Oh well, I'll keep plugging away.

Elvis in lieu of Elvish

I'm sure this has been done before, but I chuckled thinking about it.

Take you standard fantasy setting (eg Lord of the Rings) and replace all Elf references with Elvis references:

The Woodland Elvis
Black Elvis (no doubt his early "appropriating days")
Elvis Magic
Elvis Nights
Boots of Elvis kind (only available in blue and suede)
Elvis designs (probably on coffee cups or on velvet)
Elvis cape of protection (works in vegas baby)

etc...

absolut.com Unveils First Truly Scientific Test to Help 'Find Your Flavor'

absolut.com Unveils First Truly Scientific Test to Help 'Find Your Flavor'

What's this? Product hype PR that is deliberately ironic and self reflective. Ooh my. How did they manage to get this past the suits. Apparently I'm absolut vanilla, but truth be told i had to do the flash based quiz... oh maybe 6 times just to get around the interface bugs.

pity... so close but yet so far. have a go: Absolut find your flavor requires flash.

And I always thought I was a citrus person...

Bad Cocktails

To my memory, I've only made two really awful cocktails. That's awful as in, "my god this shit is bad, throw it down the sink, you must have fucked it up" as opposed to: "that's not a taste I enjoy".

The x-mas eve party Manhattan was bad. The Andys did their best to put on a brave face and slug through - they had been warned after all. However, the real shock was The Ramos Gin Fizz. I had looked forward to making (and drinking) this beverage for a long time. The lack of orange flower water had always prevented me from attempting. So on the happy day that I track some down, I was well disapointed.

Just as I have learned to like Campari and Whiskey, I will attempt yet again. Although I think I'll be my on test subject. My cadre of volunteers seem to like sure fire things not eggs and cream (not that I blame them mind you).

I wish I could make cocktails this good and write this well.

I'll be the first to admit it has taken me a long time to come round to Gary Regan. I first encountered his Bartender's Bible many moons ago in the early 90s. While I love the sections on scotch I just didn't get into it. I wanted to like it, but the drinks menus seemed very prosaic. Not that I was in a position to be fussy.

Recently I purchased the Joy of Mixology and I was converted. The man knows his stuff. So when I happened across this bar side story I was quite delighted. I wish I could write this well. Hell, these are the kinds of stories I'd wish Moose Industries could be full of.

Note to self: Visit when in Melbourne

Cocktail revival night mixes fun and work

Next time I'm in Melbourne, I'll do my best to check this place out. As a trend, cocktails have lasted bit longer than I expected. Gotta be a good 7 years in my books. But one must remain vigilant against the evil scourge of the Ready to Drink (RTD).

People buy this shit?

Ripped from wired.com's furthermore column:

Porn With a Purpose
   Two European eco-crusaders are taking
 their love of nature to the extreme by running
 a porn site to raise money for the cause.
"Everyone must try to create something good using what
 they have," said Tommy Hol Ellingsen, half of the
 provocative pair. "We had nothing, just our bodies."
 The site features hard-core videos of the eco-hippies
 (and their crunchy companions) getting nasty in a Norwegian
 clear-cut and other locales. But it also dishes out raw facts
 about environmental destruction. And talk about going green
 -- the couple has raised almost $100,000 by selling
 site memberships. Now the problem is finding nonprofit groups
 who aren't spooked by the money's illicit provenance.
"What is morality when people are destroying the
 world?" asks Ellingsen, who calls some green groups "too boring."

I mean seriously, good on them, but it sounds pretty icky to me. ewww... crusty hardcore hippies.

...and speaking of which

I'm posting this one for the great gods of google to preserve. God only knows I'm going to rot in hell for this, but it's not like le-monkey hasn't had a good 6 days to come clean with the gossip. From the cellphone:
-------
Sender: Holly
Sent: 10:35:10
09.04.2005
Guess what?! Our
boy left the party
with kerry-anne.
And he's not home
yet!
-------
Sender: Holly
Sent: 12:27:39
09.04.2005
He's STILL not
here!
--------

mb1, monkeyindustries, beacon, bacon, call him what you will, but let's assume the best and figure that he got some.

About the Absinthe Martini

Waiting to uncover for the so-called haluciagentic properties of Absinthe I thought I would play everyone's favourite game: Martini of the Month.

You see, the very dry Martini has been all the rage since the 50s, and to tell you the truth, as much as I'd like to enjoy them, I'm not really a bit Vermouth fan. In fact, of the classic cocktails that contain vermouth, the only one I remotely enjoy is Satan's Whiskers. For some reason my stomach doesn't seem to agree with Martini & Rossi.

So here's the most rediculous drink. I can say I'd suggest having more than one but you might be able to handle your spirits better than me.

Throw the gin, absinthe, shaker, and cocktail all into the freezer. Make sure they are really fucking cold (a good couple of hours).
Make a classic Martini but use absinthe instead.
3 oz of gin (Tanquery for sweetness in this case)
1/2 oz of absinthe (Diddo - some over priced 72% stuff)
Shake over ice. Shake the hell out of it you want to get this really really cold.
Strain into the cocktail class.
Garnish? I think it's a bit beside the point don't you. Debauchery at the minimalist level.

Enjoy knowing that you've got the equivilant of 4 oz of spirits in your hands. The good news is that it's so strong that it's not likely to every be popular with teenage girls. Or infact with anybody but those who like to drink straight spirits...

I found this photo lying around on my hard drive at work. Way back when I did the five minute photoshop effects to make the original digital photo approximate an old black and white. I always wanted to go back and do some tearing at the edges and adding some fold lines to make it look like it had been floating around in some soldiers back pocket. Strangely enough there's no filter to correct my dorky posture....

Black Tie Joys

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I like dressing up. Fortunately this is pretty easy for a guy. Got the dinner suit. I was stoked when I got a descent formal shirt too. Being a tall and a bit long in sleeve finally having something that was the full 37 inches (and just peeking out a bit of white) made me far happier than it it should. It came from here(Brooks Brothers). Sadly this means I'm on their mailing list forever and a day. You would have thought it wouldn't have been worth their while sending me out their catalogues. Sure conservative dress is in (again), but I doubt I'll ever buy their preppy bullshit. It's like nothing has changed in American fashion since the 1950s.

Sitting in my quick link menu bar is the tie a bow tie link. No more pre-tied bow ties for me, thank you very much. The reason to suffer through the topological problem is so to untie later in the evening and let it hang loose in a jauntily debauched, devil-may-care, sort of a way.

A certain depravity

It seems that any serious drinking requires a certain depravity. If things go well, then this is all part of the ritual (think absenith). If this don't go well... think frat party. But either way it's hard to seperate out the precise element that makes ritualized depravity either charming and exciting from pathetic and wasteful.

Where have all the files gone

You get used to the idea that a website service can do anything you dream up. Take files for example. I might have perfectly good reasons for wanting to include and attached pdf to this blog post, but I can't do it from the blogger universe. Not unless I host my own files. I suppose I could try to hunt down some file store type place, but the point of the excercise was to see how much I could do using the google family.

Now I perfectly understand the limitation. Let people have file uploads and there's a whole world of pain. Hell someone could post binaries, full cd iso, mp3s - and as we all know you can't find those things anywhere else on the web. Maybe the way to do it is with torrent links, but that somehow seems less like the solution.

Score another victory for the happy trio of ascii text, gif, and jpg. We love you guys.

Vegas Ba-by

Moose Industrres is proud to present the alcoholic component to our dear friends 30th birthday. Drinks menus, coaster, match boxes have all been made up and assembled. Glasses have been ordered. Here's the shopping list for spirits:

#	Item	Description	Qty	RRP Inc GST $	Unit Price $	Extended (NZD $)
1	SS1005	TANQUERAY GIN 40% 1L	1	47.20	42.90	42.90
2	SS0898s	42 BELOW VODKA PURE 500ML	1	33.35	28.95	28.95
3	SS0244s	HAVANA CLUB RUM ANEJO BLANCO	1	31.95	28.95	28.95
4	SS1145	FAMOUS GROUSE 700ML	1	34.80	31.70	31.70
5	LQ0043	KAHLUA 350ML	1	21.15	19.25	19.25
6	ICE	ICE (3 pcs)	3	3.00	3.00	9.00
7	SS7333	SKYY VODKA 1L	1	44.05	40.05	40.05
(Click Item Above To Edit)		(Total Inclusive Of Taxes)	9	Total (NZD$)		200.80

So as not to spoil the surprise, the menus will be posted after the event.

Username recovery works well

I can only imagine how bad life is going to get when we need two phase authentication for everything. Humerously described as something you can forget and something you can loose. I can't keep track of all my various usernames and passwords. Someday I should add them all up. No on second thoughts, I don't want to know.

This might be a picture of paradise, but my experience with blogger is proving to be anything but. How does a brother log back in. This is the second time i've managed to "loose" access to my newly created blog. I'm trying hello as method of publishing... strange though.

I like the really strange halo effect on this photo. Pretty moody as well. Not bad for disposable eh?

Moose in native habitat

flying method moose

In the begining...

I thought maybe I should experiement with what the google cartel offers. Entirely for professional reasons though.